Dear Admitted Student:
Remember how you felt in late January, around the time when you sent out all your applications and you were just waiting to hear back? You called us to see when we would be making a decision, you smiled at us when you walked past our office (yes, we noticed when you walked past way too many times to be coincidental). You lay awake at night wondering why we had not called or emailed you yet. You hit refresh in Gmail every 5 minutes, only to call Comcast and get in an argument over why your internet is down–even though it wasn’t.
Karma has been summoned and the roles have reversed.
Now I’m the nervous wreck. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to sleep and my favorite ice cream (Moose Tracks) no longer tastes as good. I have not shaved for days and my office has attracted flies. Don’t worry, I’m not at the point where I drive past your house 12 times just to make sure I don’t see you on your porch wearing a t-shirt from one of those schools on the east coast. Still, I wish you’d write, call or give me a sign that you’re still interested in Korbel.
Director of Graduate Admissions
*Please note this entry is satirical, and while I really am eager to hear your decision (and I really do feel like the tables have turned), I promise never to get to the point of driving past your house repeatedly.