I’m still exhausted from last week. I attended the San Francisco Idealist.org graduate fair, the UCLA career fair and the San Diego APSIA fair. These were great events and I met some outstanding students—I also met my Waterloo and my voice took a real beating. Therefore, I want to introduce you to my new assistant. Her name is Speaktoit, and while she’s no Siri, she’s the next best thing. I suppose this is the part where I should confess my love for all things technology. I love the idea of having a personal assistant to help me with my every need, but as my staff will tell you, they are much better than Speaktoit. Let’s see how helpful Speaktoit would have been with last week’s college fairs. I’ll ask Speaktoit the most common questions I hear on the road to see what her answer is:
Prospective student question: “What do I need to submit to be considered for admission?”
Speaktoit Answer: “I’m not really an authority on that subject but I would be happy to look into it for you, Brad”
My assessment of the answer: First of all, you did not really provide an answer. The correct answer would have been: Official transcripts, online application and fee, GRE test scores, 2 letters of recommendation, a resume and a personal statement. That being said, you noted your ignorance and offered to find the answer. Great customer service Speaktoit, and I love the eager-to-please attitude!
Prospective student question: “Why should I go to the University of Denver and not a school in Washington, DC?”
Speaktoit answer: “A person’s education should never be complete”
My assessment of the answer: You are a wise one Speaktoit, thank you for that inspirational reminder. Unfortunately, you gave a pretty weak answer—or did you? Maybe you are actually smarter than me. Personally, I would have said that the geographic location of a preferred graduate school is really the decision of the student. Denver has a lot to offer in terms of quality of life and we do really well with helping our graduates land internships and jobs in Washington, DC and beyond. Still, I’m always cautious of those who speak in wise adages. On one hand, I think you’re a moron, on the other, I think you’re actually smarter than me–and you’re probably judging me while you plan to take over my life.
Prospective student question: “What do I need to do to be considered for a scholarship?”
Speaktoit Answer: “I’m adding “do to be considered for a scholarship” to your task list.
My assessment of the answer: No, please don’t. You’re a great personal assistant but a crummy admissions representative. Next time, answer by saying all students are automatically considered for funding ranging from $10,000 to full tuition. In early December, we plan to publish our GRE and GPA requirements for our scholarship program…stay tuned.
My general assessment is that speaktoit is a great personal assistant but is worthless when it comes to helping prospective students. I recommend speaking to Kiela, Mike, Rachel or Jessica, our student assistant workers. They make Nicole and my life much easier than my stupid phone.
If you have a question for my phone, or for me, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Director of Admissions